we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
