is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize