watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
