We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
