Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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