i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
