My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
