Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize