Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
