you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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