Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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