Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
