Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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