Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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