Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
