We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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