I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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