look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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