great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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