i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
