these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
