My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
