Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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