He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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