we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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