she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
