I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize