How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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