pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
