btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
