u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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