I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
