Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
