Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
