we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
