If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
