? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Randomize
