Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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