You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
