I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
