I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
