I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
