I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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