carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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