it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize