why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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