But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
