There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
