the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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