Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
