I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
