In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
