I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am mentally ready for anal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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