If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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