yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
