yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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