Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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