We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
did i just pee glitter
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