I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
