Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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