We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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