So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
