K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
