I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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