u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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