Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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