so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
