Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
